The thing to notice here is our process of working through:
1. What is happening: "You both want the milk crate."
2. Making a plan. The key phrase from me: "It's not working! We need a new plan."
3. Feeling the satisfaction when something works for everyone "It worked. I can tell that makes you feel so good."
When children are able to communicate successfully and feel the satisfaction of being heard, they are more likely to express themselves positively. Working through this in a shame-free way, I am able to support their interest in exploring these tricky moments through play.