Hospitality

“Cody! Come here; I made you some food!” -OP

When we are in the backyard, one of the children’s favorite activities is to make various creations ranging from strawberry pie to sushi to pizza.  It’s all on the menu, but the menu is always changing.  So whenever I see a child walking up with a metal container of sticks and mud, I’m not always sure what to anticipate.  In that spirit, I usually wait for the child to tell me what the thing is and how I should eat it.  

In the meal before you now, OP  had offered me soup, coffee, cake, and juice. Now comes the hard part: figuring out what she wants me to do with it.  Does she expect me to pretend to eat and drink this food, and if so, do I need to pretend to eat all of it?  

But looking at the picture again now I am wondering about something else.  What if OP simply wants to give me something?  She offers, extends, and with this gesture OP receives me, as a host receives a guest.  I wonder if there are times when the children are offering their creations to adults that they are employing/making meaning of hospitality.  Maybe that’s something they’ve watched their parent(s) do.  Maybe it comes intuitively.  Probably both.  

While considering this, I begin to wonder about other ways children are always offering/investigating hospitality.  I think about the way their bodies negotiate such close proximity with one another all day long.  I think about their negotiation of the materials they love and share with their classmates.  I think about their inclusion of one another in pretend play and when making art.  Or even the times that they comfort one of their friends. All of it is an extension of themselves to the other, as they welcome the other.

I’m also reminded of the times that I make mistakes as an adult and the children respond with hospitality.  Or how they love to help clean, to bring me my water bottle, or say, “Look what I made for you!”  Yes, there are times each day when children make room for adults’ mistakes, impatience, absences etc., times that are seemingly obscure and often go unnoticed.  The reality is that adults are often busy, tired, depressed, or distracted and allowances 

have to be made on our behalf.  

As always, I do not want to romanticize the behavior of children.  They are not always welcoming or hospitable, as you well know.  Oftentimes they do something, need something, or create something that requires the hospitality of others, especially their family.  But to leave our understanding of their efforts there is to miss all the ways they extend themselves to make room.  To leave it there, means we may become ignorant to all the ways they are learning to welcome, to host, and to love.  

So, let’s make room for all of the motivations of children.  Let’s continue to be curious with them and all of their idiosyncrasies.  Let’s continue to welcome them, as they welcome us, and we welcome one another.