Everybody or Nobody Update: Exploring Difference and "Nobody" Statements

Last week I posted about how the preschoolers have began to use the Everybody or Nobody Rule at Tumbleweeds. This week I continued to observe its development and how this rule affects our playtime. I have noticed a division in play between boys and girls. While this is not always apparent, often the girls will implement a “girls only” policy or not want to play with boys. Yes, this is typical child behavior. I ask myself, what is important in this distinction? It seems that the preschoolers are simply exploring the indicators of gender difference. I have suggested that boys and girls can pretend to occupy either gender identification, prince or princess, king or queen (castle play has been big these past few weeks) while we are playing. While this has not been taken up by any of the preschoolers, the exclusion of boys does not always groove with our Everybody or Nobody Rule. A simple suggestion of this rule (often by TB or SC) allows the preschoolers to find roles for all participants. It also seems to assist them in their exploration of gender. The girl preschoolers are still aware and vocal about the fact that they are playing with a boy, but it does not serve as a premise for exclusion. Melinda recorded a conversation during rescue play that demonstrates.The preschoolers often create two boats: one large one and a rescue sailboat.
KO: "uhhhh a boy is calling for help, there he is!" KO runs to SM and they run to the sailboat so that EB can save him.
KO: “I see a big rescue!” TB and G join in.EB: “get the sailboat out there!K: “It's a horrible rescue!”
EB: “We need to try to help.” They all run to the 'rescue' across yard except KO. KO stays to bury sticks straight up in sandbox. Melinda asks him what it is.
KO: ”a buoy so the boat doesn't float away all by itself.”
EB- “Guys we have to hurry up! There's a boy trying to catch the rescue! Quick! Quick!” KO runs with her. EB pulls sailboat with the jumprope. Now everyone is at the rescue including SM, T, G, S, KO, EB. They use sticks to rescue.
KO: “Big rescue!!” EB:”Guys we got him! We got him!”
KO: “I got some rescue sticks!”
EB:”He needs a cup of water!” EB then puts a little container of water in the rescue boat.

A Rescue Sailboat

I think that this example shows how the preschoolers have started to function as a team in play. They are aware of differences but incorporate these. They are rescuing a “boy”. This is just an observation they make in play. Moreover, each child finds or is assigned a job. I have even seen some kindness acted out in the preschoolers' play scenarios. After the rescue EB offers SM some water. After this she decided to prepare breakfast for the rescuers. Thus, the Everybody or Nobody rule seems to assist in the creation of teamwork. Each preschooler continues to observe differences, yet work toward reconciling them in their play.

The Everybody or Nobody Rule has also extended to the preschoolers' relationship with me. The preschoolers are adjusting to what this rule means for them. TB and SC have started to create “Nobody” statements that help keep us safe. One afternoon I returned from break and SC and TB are sitting in line for the bathroom.
SC:"We talked about the everybody or nobody rule.” I ask what they talked about.
SC: “ Nobody is going to hit you.”
TB: ”Yeah”
SC: “and if we hit you we have to check in and time out.” I ask if they talked with Melinda about this.SC: “No, me and Theo.” TB: “Everybody or Nobody Sara” SC: “I know. Everybody or Nobody” IR comes up and playfully slaps my leg. I tell her that I don't want to be hit and say “SC and TB told me that you all decided nobody is going to hit me.” IR then hugs me and says,“this is how I hug.”

I love how this rule has been been wholeheartedly adopted by the preschoolers. It encourages us to ask the question "What works for everyone and how do I fit into that?" I am anxious to see how the rule continues to develop in the coming weeks.