Tuesday, January 17, 2012

It's ok to cry.

 Cohort 5's first day!
First days are always so bitter sweet.
Some of the sweet:
We're all so excited to get to know the new children.  Who are you?  What do you love?  How will you move?  What do you see?
And the relationship building begins!  Melinda's calm, caring, and fully-present approach to one-on-one care helps them feel safe and secure.  Both children clearly already see Melinda as their special, safe person who works hard to meet their needs.  

Some of the bitter (which actually still has sweet too):
This is tough work for children.
YOU (moms and dads) are the best.  You are home.  TIH is different!  Your child knows that Melinda is not you and that TIH is not home.  And this is a good thing!  Each child needs to understand what's happening.  And as they process this understanding, they need to be able to express their feelings about it.  The higher your child's level of understanding about this change, the more feelings they'll need to express.
If your child cries as you leave, she may be expressing, "I love you.  I'm sad to see you go."
If your child cries when you are gone, he may be saying, "I don't know what to expect next yet."
If your child cries when you come back, she may be telling you, "I've felt so many strong feelings today, and you are my safe person!  And I need to let go of those feelings with you."

What can we do to support your child's work through this transition?  (I'm a huge believer in Janet Landsbury's work and have connected links to articles on these topics.)
1.  Help them anticipate!
          A.  No child is too young to hear what's going to happen next.
          B.  Rituals, rituals, rituals.
2.  Help them work through their own emotions.
         A.  Acknowledge their feelings.
         B.  Talk about it!   
3.  Try to minimize "passing down our discomfort."
         A.  Acknowledge your own feelings! 
         B.  Believe.  Your child is capable and resilient.  You will all make it through this!
         C.  Release that guilt.
4.  Just Be.
         A.  Times of care are times to share.
         B.  Slow down.
         C.  Watch.            
         D.  See.

1 comment:

  1. Amy! This post is so fantastic. It's simple, informative, and eloquent. Thank you so much for documenting our first day in such an amazing way.