Everybody or Nobody: Building Community

Over the past few weeks the preschoolers and I have been working on the "Everybody or Nobody" rule. We began this discussion when I noticed some exclusion during play. Exclusion surfaced in many different forms. Often it was "no boys allowed". Other times preschoolers would only offer materials to people of a certain hair color. Also, when a child destroyed something the other preschoolers did not want that child to play. Thus, there are many different scenarios that have dictated who can and cannot play and, often, it is hard to navigate what counts as exclusion. This led me to ponder Teacher Tom's suggestion of "you can't say you can't play." This seemed like a mouthful for the preschoolers. Instead, Amy mentioned that they had come up with the "Everybody or Nobody" rule a few months prior which seemed concise, and it also gave the preschoolers a choice: either everybody could play the game or nobody could play the game. I mentioned this rule and the preschoolers took it to heart.

Much of our navigation around the Everybody or Nobody rule focused on the use of small spaces. Many children wanted to play but there simply wasn't enough space for everyone. One day the preschoolers fashioned a boat out of a chair and bin.

When SW tried to squeeze in to the "lifeboat" bin, EB observed "there isn't enough room!" SW demonstrated his desire to be included with an emphatic "Noooo". IO brought up the Everybody or Nobody rule and the preschoolers tried to reconcile the lack of space with their ability to include everyone. G excitedly set a piece of wood on the ground and exclaimed "It's a surfboard" and offered a surfboard to me as well. The children who couldn't fit into the lifeboat were offered the alternative of riding surfboards beside the boat.

Another way the preschoolers have begun to incorporate the Everybody or Nobody Rule is through the assignment of jobs. I have noticed that sandbox play is very focused. When another child approaches worry about destruction often arises. However I suggested that when someone shows interest we can include them by offering him/her a job in the creation of sand structures. This not only prevents destruction but allows the preschoolers to expand their play and work as part of a team.

The other day G began to assign jobs in a game of firefighter. Soon, each preschooler enthusiastically participated in the game. Every time a child approached G would send him/her to retrieve an object:

"You can get the axe"

"You get the ladder!"

Each child brought an object (many of which were sticks used as "hoses")

The Everybody or Nobody rule has renewed an enthusiasm for sharing as well. It seems that when the preschoolers consciously choose to include others, they start to build a community amongst themselves. At morning snack IO wanted a second helping of crackers. Alas, the crackers had run out. When the preschoolers observed this, 5 children offered a cracker to her. I used a scoop to transfer them to her plate. She then, with a smile, offered a cracker to me. Sharing is contagious!

Sure, figuring out how to include everyone takes some negotiation but this seems to be an integral part in the development of social skills. What has pleasantly surprised me is the joy that surfaces in our play when each child feels connected. The preschoolers thoroughly enjoy finding jobs for one another and learning to work together.

"Everybody" helps pull G